if this is the gift
i don’t need it
i don’t want it
i’ve learned enough
i’m patient enough
hard-water stains mock me
they’re there, still
coarsely grimy
and perfect
i’m here, polite
easily forgotten
and flawed
this isn’t the gift
this can’t be the gift
this swollen solitude
this fish-like aloneness
these women slip through my fingers
like cloying filaments of a fading dream
how do i keep myself awake for me
how […]

untitled
page…
a new
age…
a perfect movement is
a perfect breath is
I await…
…alone…
…but open

i find myself alone, mad,
drinking whiskey and reading bukowski
i realize now i’m not so different
from the things i miss
the touch of a woman who loves back
the crazy moment that spills into a poem
these are the things i am
to other people
to myself
so let the wind and rain
whip around me to
remind me how it is
to be alive

There are things my Love didn’t know.
There are things my Love couldn’t know.
Because I didn’t know them myself,
When they were most important to me…

I sit and drink and don’t write
I sit and imagine, but don’t love.
Breathe
It will
Come

I have been drinking tonight to fend off my loneliness and it got me to thinking about what loneliness is. This isn’t meant to be good or anything. It isn’t meant to be a poem. It’s just my mind. Loneliness is talking to no one like they’re listening. It is being […]

a teddy cheerleader
my silent passenger
the last reminder
of how close i’ve been
lonesome but living
love is a horizon
yet still so beautiful
with night spilling through
even if it’s just a dream…
…even if it’s just a dream
6/25/2007